Few days later…….

August 15

I'm fine

I'm fine

I'm fine, nothing will happen to me,

Nothing will happen to me. Those are the words I have been memorizing from the moment I opened my eyes. I don't know, why but there is an unknown scariness inside me, which terrifies me everytime I think about this day. Today.

It's been 4 years to it and I am still stuck on the beginning like a fucking little coward. I closed my eyes for a moment and those scenes flashed in front of me making me open my eyes at instant. I feel like someone took me back in time just for me to endure this day again.

Today I will stay at home. No matter what happens I will not go out. I internally nodded my head and pulled the comforter to cover my head. I turned to the other side of the bed as I heard a little knock on my door.

At first I thought to ignore it but when I Heard Diya's voice, I couldn't stop myself from saying come in. A few seconds later Diya came inside my room and sat on the edge of the bed

“ Are you not feeling well?” Diya asked her voice soft, filled with concern

“ Haa, i am just feeling uneasy you know” i replied my voice came out muffled due to the comforter.

“ Hmm, i think you should get out of the bed now, it's 11 in the morning” she said in concern,

“ No,no Diya I am fine, you should go” I said to her and soon, I heard the sound of the door closing and a sign of peace left my throat.

Removing the comforter I sat on my bed only to scream as i saw Diya looking at me with disbelief

“ Ahhhhhhh” Diya covered her ears as she yelled at me “ Stop, screaming women!”

“ Tum gayi nahi thi?” I asked as I looked at the closed door, she shook her head with a sheepish smile , “ i tricked you , and it worked” she clapped her hands together as she won something big.

“ Kya chahiye? Don't ask anything today, today is not my day” i said to her as i came out of my bed and started to fold the comforter.

Diya back hugged me, and i know she wants something from me now “ see, Diya please not today” I warned her but who am I talking about, she came in front and sat on my bed with a pout.

I tried not to look at her and went inside the washroom. But i couldn't help but chuckle at her words which she was saying loudly outside

“ I know aru , you don't love me, that Anirudh vo bhi traitor hai, tum bhi abhi aise bol rahi ho, koi mujhe pyaar nahi karta hai, iss din dekh ne keliye paida huyi hu” i chuckled at her words, such a drama she is.

But I can't go with her today, just not today.

Today is the unluckiest day for me, it's a bad omen today, i can't go with her today, what if something happens to her because of me.

Noo, Arya aise nahi sochte hai.

I came out of the washroom to see an empty room, thank god,vo chali gayi. Phew.

✧

Emptiness.

That's what I am feeling right now. You know the feeling of having everything still nothing.

Everything feels unwanted, unsafe without him now.

Sab kuch soona,soona sa hai.

He was the liveliness in my empty life, he saved me from my demons only to become a prey for them.

Before him life was empty just like the sky— he came and changed it, he filled my sky with colors, with happiness.

Thodi der ke liye hi sahi ,badal la toh tha usne.

They say, good things don't last forever and I felt that . Because he didn't last forever. He was just like that cool breeze in the evening,

bus ek baar aau aur fir gayab ho jayai.

4 years ago I lost him, the person who taught me to live, the person who took me out from my depression zone and made me human again, but my happiness was short lived as he too died in front of me, while saving me from my demons.

Everyone felt the pain when he died but I felt the pain when he unwillingly closed his eyes for the last time while looking into my eyes. I still remember the look in his eyes, the words he said before he left me

“ Mere liye Zinda raho aur apne liye lado”

Those words still rang in my ears, and goosebumps formed on my body every time I thought about the death he got .

It was supposed to be me ,not him.

They were supposed to kill me not him but destiny always has different plans for me.

Was I that bad, that everyone I loved left me in the middle?

Was I that worse, that god can't see me happy?

I came out of my thoughts as I heard someone calling me .

“ Arya……..” Diya's voice came from her room in urgency, I immediately stood up from my bed and went inside her room and saw she was nowhere to be found.

I started to panic as I didn't find her in the room, “ Diya……” I called her and my voice came out scared and filled with concern.

“ I am here” her voice came from the washroom and I signed in peace .

“ God, Diya I was so scared” i said,as i stood near the door of washroom

“ What is it? Why were you calling me?” I asked her, for a moment there was no answer but then suddenly “ hmm, are you there?” Diya's unsure voice reached my ears

“ Yes” i assured her

“ Hmm, I need a sanitary pad,” she said in a breath. Ok. There is nothing to panic about, right?

“ Where is it? Tell me i will pass it to you” i said and started to look around, what if she kept it here and forgot. I stopped my searching spree as i heard her voice again

“ I am sorry but there is no sanitary pad in my room”

“ Really, do you want me to get it for you?” I asked , thinking if I had ordered not.

“ Yes, please” Diya said from inside and I suddenly remembered that I was running out of my sanitary pads too.

“ Hmm, Diya” I called her and my voice came out unsure .

“ I don't have any sanitary pads with me too” I said and I can hear the sandle sounds from inside which says that she is frustrated.

“ Diya don't panic, i will go and get them for you” i said, and she instantly thanked me.

✧

I came out of the building, looking for a medical shop nearby but there was nowhere to be found. There was one but it was closed. I sighed and opened my phone's map to locate any nearby shop and to my luck there was one nearby the end of the street.

I took the different types of sanitary pads for Diya and myself and started my walks back to the building.

Out Of nowhere I felt that someone was watching me and trust me it felt the same just like years back. A shiver ran down my spine when I realized that it was him.

He can't be here right?

After 4 years, he can't be back.

I even changed my name, status and everything.

Then how come he is here?

It's just my illusion, I shrugged but again I felt the same gaze this time so close to me.

I started to walk fast, but then suddenly I felt someone standing behind me ,so closely that I could hear his breathing and no doubt it's him.

Every cell, tissue and organ in my body can recognise him.

My darkest past, nightmare. He is here.

“ Missed me, little slut”

The voice reached me through the cold breeze That's it, he is here.

a shiver ran down my spine as his words sank in. My breathing turned heavy, tears gathered in my eyes and those flashbacks came crashing down in front of me.

His screams,

My screams,

My family ugly truth,

My grandfather's reason behind death

Everything that night happened,played in front of me like a broken record and suddenly I felt someone holding my throat, and I know it's him.

He holds my throat with his left hand and started to press it harder and harder, just like that night, the oxygen from my lungs has been cutted off and I gasp for air but the merciless monster in front of me cared less as he slapped me once , twice and a last slap landed on my cheek and i fell on the ground. My head hit the road with a thud.

I wonder if there is any person present in the street while he was busy harassing me.

If yes, then why didn't that, someone tried to save me?

Is he scared of him too, just like me?

Is he choked him too, just like me ?

That night too, no one saved us and I lost him.

Maybe tonight, I am dying.

On the same day as him.

With this thought I closed my eyes, which for some reason felt very heavy.

✧

My eyelashes felt heavy, as I tried to open them. With uttermost difficulty I opened my eyes, and tried to adjust to the lighting.

I can hear people murmuring something, which felt inaudible to my ears and I felt a hand helping me to sit. I tried to sit up but it looked like my body gave up. After many attempts I finally opened my eyes clearly and looked around.

It's white, the room, walls, ceiling, curtain everything is white.

Where am I?

May be in heaven, finally god has heard all my prayers,

Wait, did I die?

I again looked around unsure about it and I saw Diya sitting there, beside me holding my hand. A weak smile formed on her face as she saw me looking at her

“ Where am I Diya?” i asked her and that's when the door opened and all the siblings entered inside except for Harika and Avyansh.

“ In the hospital, you were in a coma for 10 days” as her words sank in, my head snapped at her , coma, me. That's not possible .

“ How did I end up in a coma?” I asked no one in particular.

I looked at Aayush Bhai for an answer and he took a deep breath, may be preparing himself.

“ I found you on the road that night , in a state i don't want to describe”