Arya's POV

After he left with Arush & karan Bhai , everyone left too . leaving me and Diya alone in the house. Diya stood up and said " iam going to buy some groceries,so go to your room and take rest" i nodded at her words and went inside the room. I sat on the bed with my both hands on my forehead and growled " ahhhhh, I want to die. I can't take this pain anymore" and then I started to cry thinking about my darkest past which hunts me every day in the form of dreams .

August 15, the darkest, most painful and the most terrible day in my life. In india where people celebrate independence on August 15 for getting freedom from British but there no freedom for girls in this country. Every day a girl gets raped and murdered in her own town and surroundings, sometimes by strangers, sometimes by her own trusted people .

what about the people like me who are getting raped by their own trusted ones . I didn't get raped but they tried so hard to do it and tried so hard to destroy me,but my friend saved on right time or else Mai bhi un hazar ladkiyon ki tarah mar gayi hoti .

I still feel their hands on me , on my face and everywhere .

And to my luck, note the sarcasm, it's August again and in some days it will be 15 again,and I have to endure the pain again for the Nth time , i have to suffer the pain again and again not physically but mentally. It's been 4 years to the incident and i couldn't able to forget it, i couldn't able to move on from it. It's like it has been printed in my mind for forever .

Jaha log Kushi se freedom mana rahe hai vaha Mai apni gum ki aasu baha raha hu .

From the last 4 years there no freedom for me. Every day i cried infront of God begging why me? I was just 14 that time, neither I was wearing such inappropriate clothes nor I asked them , then why me?Even i wasn't able to tell my parents about what I have gone through. Because I am the elder child of my family, I have a huge responsibility on my shoulders . My parents,They have their own problems, stress and responsibilities and i don't want to stress them more by sharing my problems with them, they have two more children to raise who needs parents care and attention too .

So i choose to stay quiet and hurt my self and broke myself instead of breaking them.

I used to get nightmares everyday about that night, i couldn't able to sleep, so i did the only thing I can do and that is study. I studied everytime when I couldn't able to sleep because of the night mares. But one day it got worse and i couldn't able to control the pain in my heart and i directly went to my sister shiney Akka, she is my dad's friend daughter but we have a sister like bond , she knows every little secret of mine and now this one too . And then that day i pour my heart out to her , she was shocked, hurt and whatnot but she consoled me very well, knowing how emotionally weak I was.

Slowly My anxiety, night mares stopped but the surroundings still gives me flashbacks of that night, so i decided to leave my own city and start new and fresh, and by god's grace I got seat in delhi. Away from the home town which once was my safe place but now it is no less than a haunted house for me.

But I don't know why I am having those nightmares again after 10 months. After a hour I hear someone footsteps and i realised that Diya is back , So i stopped crying even though my cries are not stopping but I have to control them because I don't want Diya to find out my darkest past. She and Anirudh are the only ones who loved me with accepting my flaws, who became my comfort place in just some mere days and i don't want to loss them at any cost.

I stood up and went inside the washroom and then looked at my self in mirror. Puffed red eyes, red nose, red cheeks, dried tear marks on my cheeks and dried lips. Looking at my self in mirror the only question arises in my mind is

Do i deserve all this?

Do i deserve all the pain?

I didn't do anything wrong to anyone I even think before scolding my sister. So, meri kya galti ki thi jo aaj mujhe ye sab sehna pad raha hai?

Turning the tap on I started to flash the water on my face once ,twice, trice , I did it untill I felt like their touch leave my body. After I felt i look presentable not crying, i came out of the washroom and wiped my face with towel and went out side.

Diya was in kitchen cutting vegetables and I went near to her and sat on the counter. She looked up at me and smiled and then frowned " why your eyes are red? Wait even your face is red?" She asked coming closer to me .

I just bite my inner cheeks searching for a good answer and i said" nothing, I was just missing my brother" she looked at me for a moment not convinced but nodded saying" okay, of you don't want to say it. It's ok, but please remember I am there for you , Anirudh is here for you and don't lie next time ?" I closed my eyes as she caught me , opening my eyes i looked at her and said" it's something, i don't want to talk about it now but when the right time comes I will surely tell you about it" she nodded at my words and stared to do her work,

i looked at the vegetables and i wasn't able to understand what she was making,so I asked her "what are you making for lunch?" "Vegetable fried rice " she answered while tossing the vegetables, i nodded and looked at the things she bought . It's maida, chocolate chips, sugar, butter, cheese, choco powder, tomato sauce, soya sauce, chilli powder, and some other things.

Looking at them , now I want to make cookies so I called her" Diya?" " Ha?" She said still tossing the vegetables," I want to make cookies" as I said she looked at me and thinned her eyebrows " do you know how to bake?" She asked with a hint of mock, which offended me a little " I do , and i make best cookies, cakes, pastry, brownie and many more , and they are best " I said proudly and she smiled and said "ok, but after i complete cooking this" she said and i nodded.